Title: we were always falling
Characters: Daniel, Eloise
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: A course can only be corrected if you try.
A/N: Written for
lost_in_108 challenge #38 “trust”.
He’s five and hovering nervously at the top of the slide, cautious even as a child.
She smiles, tight and serious and promises she’ll always catch him.
He’s seventeen and she’s pushing him towards a life he never wanted, but he takes it all the same, drowning himself in probabilities, equations; seeking answers to the unanswerable.
At night she prays to a God she doesn’t believe in.
He’s twenty-nine and he’s dying. It was unexpected, a variable, he thinks as he struggles to breathe.
But it wasn’t.
He looks up and Eloise is holding the gun.
Three decades away, she wishes she had never made him any promises.
Characters: Daniel, Eloise
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: A course can only be corrected if you try.
A/N: Written for
He’s five and hovering nervously at the top of the slide, cautious even as a child.
She smiles, tight and serious and promises she’ll always catch him.
He’s seventeen and she’s pushing him towards a life he never wanted, but he takes it all the same, drowning himself in probabilities, equations; seeking answers to the unanswerable.
At night she prays to a God she doesn’t believe in.
He’s twenty-nine and he’s dying. It was unexpected, a variable, he thinks as he struggles to breathe.
But it wasn’t.
He looks up and Eloise is holding the gun.
Three decades away, she wishes she had never made him any promises.
no subject
Date: 6/24/10 06:05 pm (UTC)Wow, I love the patterns you establish and the pay-off at the end. Very good. :)
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Date: 6/25/10 02:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 6/24/10 07:44 pm (UTC)Oh, Eloise. Breaking heart, here. You know she'll always catch him, because this is not how he dies.
I love when you write these two characters :) Beautiful!
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Date: 6/25/10 02:35 am (UTC)I realized it had been a while since I had written Dan and that's just not cool. *snuggles him*
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Date: 6/25/10 02:44 am (UTC)PERFECT. Wonderful. I especially enjoyed the way all the snipets went together. ♥
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Date: 6/25/10 03:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 6/25/10 03:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 6/25/10 03:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 6/26/10 04:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 6/27/10 12:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 6/28/10 08:35 pm (UTC)And that last line! Wow. seriously a stunner.
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Date: 6/29/10 02:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 6/29/10 09:18 pm (UTC)She smiles, tight and serious and promises she’ll always catch him.
That is so perfectly Eloise. Nice work!
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Date: 6/30/10 02:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 6/30/10 01:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 6/30/10 02:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 7/4/10 08:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 7/4/10 07:52 pm (UTC)Heh. Oh, time travel. I'm not sure how it manages to be so confusing and so epic at the same time.