Idle hands and all that.
6/7/10 02:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ozmissageI’m unspeakably bored today and working on a very trippy Jack/Claire fic. Distract me?
Name a character from one of my fandoms and I'll give you (a) three facts about them from my personal canon/fanon, (b) a reason he/she sucks, (c) a reason he/she is awesome, (d) five things that never happened to that character or (e) five people that character never fell in love with and why. You pick the character. I pick the letter.
Fandoms: Lost, Supernatural, Being Human, Doctor Who, Torchwood, Community, BTVS, Angel, Dollhouse, Firefly, Gilmore Girls, Mad Men, The Office, The Big Bang Theory, HIMYM, 30 Rock, Parks & Rec, Psych, Chuck, Fringe, and Flashforward.
Name a character from one of my fandoms and I'll give you (a) three facts about them from my personal canon/fanon, (b) a reason he/she sucks, (c) a reason he/she is awesome, (d) five things that never happened to that character or (e) five people that character never fell in love with and why. You pick the character. I pick the letter.
Fandoms: Lost, Supernatural, Being Human, Doctor Who, Torchwood, Community, BTVS, Angel, Dollhouse, Firefly, Gilmore Girls, Mad Men, The Office, The Big Bang Theory, HIMYM, 30 Rock, Parks & Rec, Psych, Chuck, Fringe, and Flashforward.
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no subject
Date: 6/7/10 06:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 6/7/10 08:56 pm (UTC)I feel like I should feel bad about fangirling Alpha (cause of his tendency to kill people and all) but I really don’t. The thing that I love about him is how delightfully unstable he is and how that manifests itself in ways that are both amusing and disturbing.
He’s a witty monster and I appreciate that. I like that I’ll be giggling over his fear of steps with open backs one second and then be terrified of him in the next because by then he’s whipped out a knife and used it on poor, pretty Victor’s face. That combination of humor and danger makes him unpredictable and so much fun to watch. He’s the perfect big bad really.
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 6/7/10 06:30 pm (UTC)Mitchell (BH)
no subject
Date: 6/7/10 08:58 pm (UTC)a. Three Facts About Mitchell:
1. Mitchell loved his life with Herrick for longer than he hated it. There was a time when he found it thrilling, when it was all blood and sex and booze.
He would sit in the middle of a room full of vampires and feel like he was the king. It was intoxicating.
His deepest, darkest secret is that it wasn’t guilt that finally did him in (although he was guilty, still is, and he knows deep down that no amount of atonement will ever change that) it was boredom.
Herrick had grand plans about changing all of humanity into vampires, taking over the world, blah, blah, blah and that just didn’t interest Mitchell.
He likes the world as it is and he could only sit through so many meetings about a brave new world he didn’t want to be part of before he said fuck it and went looking for a new life.
2. Mitchell goes to the cinema at least once a week, has for as long as there’s been one to go to. He loves movies, the older the better. There’s something about sitting in a darkened theater watching Humphrey Bogart and Bette Davis and Lauren Bacall that makes him feel completely and utterly alive.
He’s always liked stories. Watching them, telling them, it doesn’t matter. They connect him to the people around him, they force him to remember they’re real living breathing humans with lives and families and crap jobs.
The only thing he doesn’t like about the cinema is how they’ve banned smoking inside. The Maltese Falcon always went down easier when he had a cigarette in his hand.
3. Sometimes Mitchell thinks about leaving George and Annie. It’s not because he doesn’t love them, but because he does. He knows that eventually he’ll fall off the wagon, he’ll go back to being a monster and they’ll hate him or worse they won’t. They’ll try to save him and he’ll hurt them and he doesn’t want to see the disappointment in their eyes, doesn’t want to know he’s the cause.
So every now and then he thinks about walking out. Then he wakes up and finds Annie at the stove scrambling eggs she can’t eat and George fussing over the sheer amount of spoons they use in a days time and they’re both a little bit annoyed with each other but they still grin when they see him and he knows he won’t leave. Knows he can’t and feels like a selfish bastard for it.
Then Annie sets a plate down in front of him and George tells him about some stupid program he saw on the telly last night and Mitchell doesn’t care if he’s selfish. This is his family and he’ll stay as long as they let him.
no subject
Date: 6/7/10 06:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 6/8/10 01:45 am (UTC)1. No one ever found out about the whole fake degree thing. Jeff’s kind of smug about that fact actually. He goes to court every day and represents a bunch of really awful people that he wouldn’t bother speaking too if they didn’t pay him so damn much. He knows that he’s a really awful person too. His three ex-wives tell him so on a regular basis, but he likes to think he’s at least 45% less awful than his least awful client. Sometimes he wonders if he should be doing more with his life than representing low-lives and writing alimony checks and driving an admittedly kickass car. He wonders but he doesn’t wonder enough to actually doing anything about it.
2. He sits next to Starburns that first day of Spanish class and the guy is clearly a douche, but he has a friend who is actually Spanish and Jeff Winger knows an opportunity to get out of writing any Spanish essays ever when he sees one. So he joins Starburns’s study group and files his plan to seduce hot blonde girl in the back of his mind.
3. He was living in his car, okay? Living with Pierce was preferable to showering with a water hose outside the gymnasium. Had he known that Pierce would force him into wearing matching outfits so he could live out some sort of bizarro old guy father/son fantasy he would have stuck with the water hose.
4. Jeff does stupid things when he’s drunk. This is a fact. But there’s a difference between stupid and making out with am eighteen year old, movie obsessed kid in his dorm room as some sort of weird ass Brokeback Mountain reenactment.
To his credit Abed doesn’t kick Jeff out. He does however draw the line at sniffing his coat. But Jeff thinks maybe he did that too sometime after the making out but before the drunk dialing. Abed really can’t resist a good reference.
5. Britta Perry says she loves him. At a dance in front of the lamer half of Greendale that actually cares about going to things like dances.
And he…says it back.
Because he does. A little bit. It’s not epic, okay? He’s not fucking Ross Gellar. Or Pacey. Or Sawyer (okay, he’s a little bit Sawyer.) He just kind of wants to see her hello kitty underwear again and meet her poor, old cat and wake up next to her once to see if she looks that hot at six in the morning.
So he kisses her and the music actually, literally swells. Fucking DJ.
He has to admit it’s nice though. In a terrifying, oh God, oh God, what am I doing kind of way.
no subject
Date: 6/7/10 06:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 6/8/10 01:58 am (UTC)1. Esau doesn’t believe he is evil. He doesn’t believe in evil. He does believe that the woman who wasn’t his mother was unspeakably cruel and ignorant.
He does believe that if he let her live she would have continued to spread her ignorance, her poison to everything she touched. So he killed her. And it broke his heart.
2. He loves Jacob almost as much as he hates him. Jacob’s his brother and he damned him. Esau wants nothing more than to leave the island. To see the world beyond the ocean, to visit the home his true mother came from. He’d like to walk among ruins, buy food from a market, ride in a car or on a plane.
He would like to bring Jacob with him, to do these together. But his brother believes that Esau has no soul, that he must be contained or destroyed. After awhile Esau begins to think his brother is right.
3. When Jack hit him and Esau tasted blood on his lips, he almost wept with joy. For the first time in a very long time he felt solid and real. Like a man again. Even if the body was not his own, it was a body with a heart and bones and blood. It was good enough.
Esau felt something like hope stirring in his chest. Hope that he might finally go home.
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 6/7/10 06:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 6/8/10 02:24 pm (UTC)1. Kate Austen. Look, she’s hot. And she’s got this dangerous; I could kick your ass vibe going for her that Miles actually finds really appealing, but the baggage, man. Between her exes, her rap sheet, and her fake kid, the lady has too much on her plate for Miles to even think about involving himself in all that crazy.
2. James Ford. His boss is not an unattractive man. He’s a wiseass, loud, and irritating as hell. He’s also the best friend Miles has ever had. And yes he knows how sad that is. So he loves the guy, but he’s not going to let himself be in love with him because he kind of needs a buddy more than a fuck buddy right now.
3. Naomi Dorrit. Miles isn’t going to lie; he had really been looking forward to being stuck on an island with Naomi. She was totally his type. Hot accent? Check. Kind of scary? Check. Hot? Definitely. So maybe he could have loved her if she hadn’t gotten herself killed so damn fast, but he’ll never know for sure and yeah, that’s always going to drive him a little bit nuts.
4. Charlotte Lewis. Look Miles knows he can be an asshole sometimes, but he liked Dan and Dan liked Charlotte and she was more like a really annoying big sister anyway, so no, he didn’t think about crossing that line. Okay, maybe he thought about it once. But nobody’s perfect.
5. Daniel Faraday. He could have loved Dan. Broken, screwed up, genius that he was. Miles was halfway there to tell you the truth, but then Dan left. Just got on a sub and left. Miles tried not to take it personally, but secretly he totally did.
***
1. Richard Alpert. Richard needed someone to take care of him and Miles just needed someone. Seemed like a good idea at the time. Funny thing is it was more than a good idea, it was the best idea Miles Straume ever had.
no subject
Date: 6/7/10 06:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 6/8/10 02:44 pm (UTC)1. Charlotte used to get high and listen to old, scratchy Geronimo Jackson albums. She’d wait until the house was empty and then stretch across her bed and crank the music and let the drugs make her head all foggy and relaxed.
Sometimes she’d invite a friend over or whatever grungy, shop boy she was dating at the time and they’d laugh and talk about stupid things that they wouldn’t really remember later. Her Mum would come home and shake her head in disappointment and
Charlotte would just giggle.
She was sixteen, it was just a phase.
In the end, the pot was but she never did outgrow her Jackson albums.
2. Charlotte always fancied herself an adventurer. Her step father used to bring her fistfuls of pulp comics about men traipsing through jungles and deserts. It didn’t bother Charlotte that there were never any women in these comics (unless you counted the dames and mistresses and Charlotte never did.) By the time she was six she knew exactly what she wanted to do with the rest of her life.
And yes her mother tried to dissuade her, to put her on a more practical path, but Charlotte Staples Lewis didn’t want to be practical. She wanted to be an anthropologist.
3. The day Charlotte found that collar in Tunisia was the happiest day of her life.
It meant she wasn’t the nutter some of her colleagues whispered she was behind her back. It meant there was an island, a crystal clear blue ocean, an ancient well…a home to return to.
She went out that night with her best mate and they drank and Charlotte told her a story about a little girl with her own private wonderland.
She went to sleep with a smile on her face that night believing that Alice would finally be given a reprieve from her exile.
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 6/7/10 06:55 pm (UTC)Hee. This meme is awesome.
Sam Winchester.
no subject
Date: 6/8/10 03:12 pm (UTC)d.) Five Things That Never Happened to Sam
1. Dean comes calling, another family crisis, another monster to fight. Sam says no. And then Jess dies. He went out that night, just to grab some beers with his buddies. He wasn’t gone that long. But it’s long enough. She dies, just like his mom and somehow Sam knows it must be his fault.
By the time the news makes it to Dean, Sam is long gone. Disappeared into nothing as far as he can tell.
2. He graduates at the top of his class and gets a job at a tiny law firm in the middle of nowhere.
Sometimes he hears rumblings about strange deaths and normal family men loosing their minds, but he ignores it all. He has a life and Jess and it’s everything he ever wanted.
Dean sends him a postcard once year, each one simply says I’m good.
Sam keeps them in a shoebox under his bed, next to a rifle he never loads. The only reminders of who he used to be.
3. He dies. And it’s kind of permanent. But then something brings him back. He thinks it must have been Dean and the thought breaks his heart, but there’s this palm print seared into his skin and when he shows up on Bobby’s doorstep he pulls a gun on him.
Later, he meets Castiel and he begins to understand.
4. The woman comes into the bar and orders a glass of rum. Drinks it in one gulp, barely winces at the burn. She’s beautiful, long, blond hair and the saddest eyes Sam has ever seen. She’s older than him, but he doesn’t care.
“Want to tell me your troubles?”
It’s a stupid line, but he’s only been a bartender for three days. She smiles faintly.
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
“Try me,” he shoots back.
She doesn’t. But she does push him against the bar later after everyone else has left and his hands run over a mark on her back. Raised and strange, like a brand.
“Who are you?” he mutters against her neck.
“No one,” she whispers. “No one at all.”
5. Sam is five years old and his mother takes him to the park and pushes him on a swing.
He asks her to make him go higher and she does, until he feels like he’s flying, but then his heart is beating too fast and he’s getting scared, but he can’t stop.
His mother slows the swing down and laughs, presses a kiss to his cheek.
“Don’t worry, I’ve got you Sammy.”
Sam smiles and wraps his arms around her neck, feeling safe and content.
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 6/7/10 07:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 6/8/10 06:31 pm (UTC)1. Castiel is fascinated by clothing. He isn’t used to moving around with a second skin. And that’s how he thinks of it, as a second skin.
He likes it though, the feeling of the material against the vessel. The cotton pants, the silk shirt. There’s a safety in clothing. The coat is his favorite bit. It’s unnecessary in most places, impractical in some, but it gives him a sense of self. It grounds him, makes him feel almost human.
2. Dean Winchester is the best thing that’s ever happened to Castiel in what has been a rather long existence. The boy is infuriating, but also intriguing. There’s something about the way he turns his words, how he’s both flippant and brave. Castiel listens to Dean and later when he’s alone he’ll mimic the cadence of his friend’s voice.
He’s learning from Dean; about this world, about life, and quite simply about himself.
3. He was always a doubter.
Deep in his heart, there were questions even when he was supposed to be devout. He loves his heavenly father, but he’s always watched the world below with a curiosity that frightened him. He is supposed to be a soldier, but he can not bring himself to dismantle the world his father built.
To see it end would be a great tragedy. And for this he’s willing to betray his own kind.
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 6/7/10 07:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 6/8/10 06:41 pm (UTC)I love how much Betty has grown over the seasons. In the beginning she was so adrift, so unwilling to rock the boat where Don’s concerned. To see her confront him over his affairs and his secret life, to even have a secret life of her own was incredibly rewarding and made me respect her in a way I didn’t back in season one.
I’m not sure I entirely agree with her hopping into another marriage, I don’t think it’s going to end particularly well, but I admire her for having the courage to leave Don, who much as I care for him is probably never going to change.
She’s grown into a confident woman who doesn’t necessarily always do the right thing, but who always does something. I think her complacency in season one was killing her. This isn’t the life she wanted for herself and it seems like she’s finally going to do something about it. Watching her evolution over the past three seasons has been like watching an awakening.
(Although I’m terrified of what it might mean for the kids. One thing I don’t like about Betty or Don is their parenting skills. I know they love their kids, but I’m not sure they know what to do with them.)
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 6/7/10 08:06 pm (UTC)Emily, Gilmore Girls
Adelle, Dollhouse
Janis, FlashForward
Leslie, Parks and Rec
Heh, I assume it is okay that I pick more than one!
no subject
Date: 6/9/10 01:32 pm (UTC)Wesley
Somehow he managed to turn himself into an action hero. I’m not as a big a Wes fan as most people, but I love his arc. The way he went from this silly “rogue demon hunter” to this really dark, tormented badass was pretty awesome.
Adelle
Oh man, just one awesome thing? There’s very little about her I don’t find awesome. I’m going to go with her ability to get shot by the man she has feelings for and just keep right on walking. She’s so good at being hard; it’s kind of mesmerizing to watch.
Leslie
The way she loves her job and takes pride in it fills me with glee. So many television characters (and real life people) absolutely loathe what they do, but not Leslie Knope. And the thing is there’s always something standing in the way of her actually getting anything done, but she just keeps working and smiling and makes something happen. It’s inspiring to watch.
Three Facts about Emily & Janis:
1. Emily used to sneak cigarettes when she was a teenager. Her mother didn’t think it was proper for a young lady to smoke and Emily didn’t particularly like the habit herself, but it gave her a little thrill to defy her mother even if she’d never know what her daughter was up to.
2. She’s proud of her daughter. She would have given anything to see Lorelai go to college, marry a nice man, and live a comfortable, society life. But she knows deep down that Lorelai would have been miserable. So she doesn’t say it, but when she looks at Rory and the life that Lorelai gave her she’s proud that she raised a woman who can provide for herself and her daughter.
3. When Emily was young she had an excellent nanny. She tucked her in at night and made superb beef wellington and always answered the door after the first ring. She was a lovely, professional woman who stayed with Emily’s family until she was well into her seventies.
So yes, Emily is a bit picky with the help, but it’s only because she’s experienced the very best.
***
1. Janis was a little bit disappointed when Demetri got engaged. She only has one best friend and it felt like he was leaving. She tried to look happy when he told her the news, but Dem can always see through her. He took her out with Zoey that night and they all got super drunk and sang bad eighties songs at a karaoke bar. Before he dropped her off, Dem whispered nothing will change in her ear. He was wrong.
2. In the beginning, she loved being a double agent. It was exciting and dangerous and made her feel like a really badass spy in an espionage film. Then things got complicated and real and she wanted nothing more than to get out.
3. Janis bought a pink onesie five days after the blackout. The store clerk still looked shell-shocked, Janis is pretty sure she did too. She bought it and stuffed it in the back of a drawer the minute she got home.
After her sonogram, she buys a blue one and hangs it on the door handle of her closet so it’s the first thing she sees every morning when she opens her eyes.
no subject
Date: 6/7/10 08:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 6/9/10 01:38 pm (UTC)Chuck:
He’s so goodhearted. I love that unlike most action hero types he takes other people’s lives very seriously. He doesn’t kill casually. That sets him apart from pretty much every other character on television.
John Casey:
Oh my, Casey’s pretty much awesome all of the time. I think my favorite thing about him is how under that gruff exterior he’s really woobie. He’s so loyal to his country and his team and that’s really awesome. He cares about Sarah and Chuck and even Morgan. I think maybe he feels like he’s part of a really weird, unconventional family and I’m sure that makes him happy even if it annoys him a little bit.
Also he growls. :D
no subject
Date: 6/7/10 09:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 6/11/10 02:30 am (UTC)1. Demetri used to play his guitar every night. Yes, He was that kind of guy. He was even in a band for awhile when he was in college. They mostly just played cover songs. It was fun.
Then Demetri got a badge and his guitar went into his closet, collected dust except for the nights after a bad bust or when he pulled his gun or someone pulled a gun on him. On those nights he takes it out and plays his favorite bad rock songs and sings along until his neighbors start banging on the wall.
2. He calls Janis at least once a day. Sometimes just to tell her about some stupid show he saw on television the night before, other times he calls because she spent the day frowning at her desk, barely talking to anyone and he knows something’s bothering her, knows she won’t tell him.
But he still calls, just because. He wants her to know he’s there, that he’ll always be there.
3. When Al jumped Demetri felt like a coward.
He never believed in fate before the blackout. He believed that things happened. Not for a reason, they just happened. He liked living his life that way. Not looking for any meaning when he happened to walk by some asshole robbing a gas station. Right place, right time.
Then the universe handed him a death sentence and he became fate’s bitch without ever meaning too.
But then Al jumped. The stupid, noble bastard jumped. He gave Demetri hope. He made him believe he had a choice. Al gave him his life back. Demetri just wishes it hadn’t come at the expense of his own.
no subject
Date: 6/7/10 11:37 pm (UTC)How about River.
no subject
Date: 6/11/10 02:55 am (UTC)1. She goes to a proper school. Graduates at the top of her class (Of course you did, mei mei.)
Simon comes home for her graduation party, wraps an arm around her shoulder, whispers how proud he is of her in her ear.
River goes to sleep that night dreaming of her new job at Alliance headquarters, of how lucky she is to have such a wonderful opportunity.
2. There’s blood so much blood.
She was just trying to fix them. They were broken, out of sorts, too loud, always thinking, always hurting. She was setting them right, that’s all.
The Captain’s still holding on and she can feel him dying, hear him thinking, Shouldn’t have staked my life on you being a person, little albatross.
River wipes his blood, hot and sticky, on her skirt, tries to steady her shaking hands.
“I am a person,” she whispers as he slips away.
3. She flies Serenity through a hail storm of Reavers, dodging the ships with ease.
Mal watches her, proud.
“You did good.”
River grins, doesn’t bother trying not to look smug.
“I know I did.”
4. She slips into his room as easily as she slips about the ship.
“Gorramit, girl. This ain’t your bunk.”
She’s stretched out on Jayne’s bed, smirking, playing at being older than she is.
“It could be.”
“That ain’t likely,” Jayne says with his mouth, but River knows his body is saying something else entirely. She sits up, lets her tiny hands reach for the zipper on his pants.
“Girl,” he warns, but his heart’s not in it.
“I take what I want,” she giggles.
Jayne can’t argue with that line of reasoning.
5. They stop at a bar on some backwoods planet and Simon relents, lets River take a few sips of his ale. Her head is light, empty for once, but for the music in the bar. It’s a thrumming steady beat, banjos and violins. Rustic, primitive…beautiful.
She sheds her shoes and moves to the center of the room tugging Kaylee along with her. They dance, twirling and laughing, every set of eyes in the room on them.
They dance and dance and River prays the music will never stop.
no subject
Date: 6/8/10 01:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 6/11/10 02:32 pm (UTC)Walter is busy mixing some sort of goo that could be brains or taffy or maybe both. Astrid lost track an hour ago. The house is quiet and it’s getting late, she keeps stifling yawns, but Walter just cranks his record player louder. She hopes the neighbors aren’t light sleepers, figures they would have moved by now if they were.
She was supposed to be on a date tonight. In some theoretical world where she has nights off, anyway. Maybe in the over there Walter talks about sometimes she has a boyfriend and a job with decent hours. It’s probably not as interesting as this one though.
Peter’s still not back. She gets why he left, intellectually. The lie was too big, too awful and she even wants to be mad at Walter, but she can’t. Not when she’s the one buying his fudge pops and watching him make these wild experiments out of nothing at all. He’s like a brilliant, eccentric child trapped inside an old man’s body.
And she knows this shouldn’t be her job. That she was trained for more than this and some days she thinks about asking (begging) for reassignment, but then she’ll see Walter and she’ll remember she’s his best friend. That’s an important kind of trust that she has no interest in breaking no matter how frustrating he can be sometimes.
“Astrid, does this look red to you or gray?”
Walter holds up a wad of maybe-brain taffy and Astrid smiles.
“It looks pink, Walter.”
no subject
Date: 6/8/10 12:14 pm (UTC)Also, I kind of really want to say Miss Patty. You know what? You pick.
no subject
Date: 6/13/10 02:07 pm (UTC)One Awesome Thing About Luke Danes…In Drabble Form: He cares about Rory.
Luke hates shopping. Actually hate is not a strong enough word to express his feelings on the matter. Loathes maybe. Detests. After two hours in a store that’s sole purpose appears to be selling headache inducing perfumes and body soaps that supposedly smell like dew kissed hydrangeas and cucumbers dipped in rosemary, Luke decides there actually isn’t a word in the English language strong enough to express how much he hates shopping.
He needs a gift for Rory. She’s turning twenty-one. She’s turning twenty-one and she’s not speaking to her mother and things are pretty horrible between the two of them. But she’s still Rory. Just Rory having a quarter life crisis and hey, the kid was probably due for one anyway. She still deserves something nice.
There is nothing nice in the entirety of the Hartford Mall. After thirty more minutes of staring hopelessly at a collection of sparkly bracelets, Luke calls it quits and heads home.
He needs something special. Something that says, happy birthday, but also I’m not giving up on you. It needs to be a chatty present.
That’s when he remembers his mother’s necklace. It’s just sitting there in the back of his sock drawer collecting dust and that sort of thing should be worn. Or so he’s been told. It’s special to him. And Rory’s special to him and he’s pretty sure this gift is just chatty enough to be the right one.
It sure as hell beats glittery shower gel that smells like bubblegum.
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 6/9/10 02:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 6/14/10 12:02 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 6/9/10 05:43 am (UTC)How has he not been asked yet? :p
no subject
Date: 6/14/10 12:01 am (UTC)1. Abed writes fanfiction. Really, complicated fix it fanfiction that he only shows to Troy. They spent one night drinking beers and reading Abed’s old MASH fanfics from high school out loud and Abed was secretly pleased when Troy said they were awesome even though Troy’s never actually seen MASH.
Abed remedied this later by hosting a theme night where they drunk martinis and watched all of the best Radar episodes. Then he made the mistake of showing Troy the MASH finale and he had to watch the entire Kickpuncher trilogy twice in penance.
2. Abed really is a tiny bit psychic. He blames all of his time watching films and television. By the time he was nine he could recognize all of the major story tropes and apply them to complicated social situations.
That’s how he knows Britta and Jeff will eventually end up with each other but not before senior year because the viewers would lose interest. And by viewers he means the group. It’s also how he knows he and Troy will one day move into an apartment together in New York City and talk about their wacky love lives and play foozeball.
He’s worried about Pierce though. Does anyone know what happened to Kramer?
3. Abed hated the Lost finale.
He hated it so much that he’s roped the group into filming a series of mini-episodes in Pierce’s backyard this summer. Pierce is not-Locke but he really wants to be Jack. Jeff is Sawyer and Annie is not-dead Juliet. This seems to be causing some tension. Britta is Kate and this is causing even more tension. Abed knew it would, Abed knows everything.
Shirley is Ilana. She’s much cooler than the real Ilana. Troy’s Jack because he’s the best crier, but Abed told him it’s because he has charisma.
And Abed? Well he’s Jacob. And the director.
Yeah, it’s kind of scary.
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 6/10/10 12:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 6/14/10 03:16 am (UTC)1. Isabella recovers. It’s miraculous, no one can explain it, Richard doesn’t bother trying, just thanks God that she’s well. They have their first child a year later, a little girl. Richard works in town and comes home every night to his wife and daughter and a warm plate of food on the table.
He is never a rich man, but he is always a happy one. He lives and dies in Tenerife, his feet never touching foreign soil.
2. He kills Jacob, never lets a word part from his lips. He doesn’t think he’ll ever stop seeing the blood on his hands. The other man, Samuel, never brings him back to his wife. He does take Richard with him when he leaves though. Richard wishes he hadn’t.
They return to the world to find the sky has gone black. Samuel ruins everything he touches and Richard can do nothing but watch.
3. “Are you this is what you want?”
Richard nods and takes the drink from Jacob’s hands. It tastes warm as he swallows it, but otherwise he doesn’t feel any differently.
“How long will I have to protect it?” Richard asks.
Jacob smiles his sad, lopsided smile that never quite reaches his eyes.
“For as long as you can.”
4. Richard meets Miles at the beach, it’s neutral territory. No one ever comes here, not Dharma, not Richard’s people. It’s a safe place for them. The only safe place.
“Took you long enough,” Miles says.
Richard doesn’t answer, just crushes his lips against Miles’s. The boy tastes like salt and heat, it does something to Richard, he thinks of it as waking up.
“Missed me?”
Miles laughs smugly, his lips lingering against Richard’s. Richard grins, his fingers already pulling at the hem of Miles’s shirt (there’s never enough time.)
“Not at all.”
5. “So all of the pregnant women die?”
“Yes,” Richard says patiently.
“This is a very misogynistic island. How would it like it if I made all of the men’s brains combust every time they thought about sex? I could have done that once, you know. I was a very powerful vengeance demon.”
Richard nods, hoping furtively that Anya would eventually move on to another subject. Any other subject.
“And this Ben, he keeps forcing these women to become pregnant.”
“Well he doesn’t force---“
“Oh yes, I’m sure they all volunteer. Please, impregnate me so I may die a horrible and painful death, it sounds like ever so much fun. You are very naïve, Richard; you should be glad that you are also very nice to look at.”
“You think I’m nice to look at?”
Anya rolls her eyes.
“You’ve seen yourself, haven’t you? You do have mirrors here? If you don’t I’m afraid I’m going to have to reject your offer to stay. I quite like looking at myself in the morning.”
Richard shakes his head in confusion. Anya is clearly going to be a handful. He certainly hopes Jacob knows what he’s doing.
THANKS!
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